I’ve often joked that if I ever made bumper-stickers, this is what they’d say: Show up & be nice.
Simple, isn’t it?
When musicians ask me how to get booked and re-booked for paying gigs, this is my advice. Show up and be nice. Help with the chairs. Be glad to be there. Appreciate the opportunity. Thank your hosts – doubly so if they are librarians because if there really ARE angels among us, surely the librarians are them. Thank the audience. Have a good time.
It works for any kind of business or work. Show up and be nice. Be the person in the room who is willing to listen, who is eager to see the sense and goodness in other people and their views. Treat other people as people – people with bodies and hearts, not just brains and to-do lists. Care about each other.
And it sure works for family and the holidays. Show up and be nice. Love your people. Even the ones who are crotchety or hard to love. Even the ones who think you’re an odd duck. Especially the ones who think you’re an odd duck. Bring smiles, bring pie, bring an easy-going vibe. Help with the dishes. Ask loving questions.
And if that sounds hard or you find yourself thinking, “But Kate, that’s what I ALWAYS do and no one sees it or appreciates it,” let me tell you: I hear you with my whole heart. I’ve thought and felt that, too.
So here’s the MOST IMPORTANT underpinning of this very simple philosophy:
Show up for yourself and be nice to yourself.
Part of this is to be well-resourced before you venture out among other people. Eat well, sleep well, take care of the little things that set you up for a good day.
The other part is to appreciate the dickens out of yourself. In showing up and being nice out in the world, you are helping to create a warm, loving world. You are living your ideals. You are a light-bringer and a fun-inspirer. This is the kind of world and the kind of life your heart desires, and look: you’re doing it, dear one. You’re doing your part!
And finally, there are times when we can show up or we can be nice, and we can’t manage to do both. This is human stuff and totally forgivable and understandable. Hello, weariness, social anxiety, and general freak out. It happens and it’s 100% OK and to be expected.
But whenever possible, it’s wonderful and fun to live this way. Doing so builds around you a circle of warmth, welcome, love, and magic that is precious and even miraculous.
Dear Readers, let me also say: YOU are part of that circle in my life and I am over-the-moon grateful for your presence and good will. On this Thanksgiving week, I count you among my blessings. Your loving words and your own example makes me feel committed, eager, and lucky to
Show Up & Be Nice!
“Show up and be nice”– like the golden rule, it is wonderfully simple yet covers a lot of acreage. I appreciate your extension to apply this to one’s self. I will put this in my gig bag.
I love that you will carry this simple thing along with everything else in your gig bag. Truth is, you’ve been carrying it for a long time now anyway – but it sure does make the whole enterprise more fun, doesn’t it? Thank you so much for visiting and reading, Tom!