I’ve got pretty good all-around intuition, but in one area my spidey-sense is just about 100% accurate.

Specifically, I can read your future as a musician.  Within about 60 seconds of talking with you, I can predict whether or not music is going to play a joyful and expansive role in your life over the next six months to a year.

The person who will NOT be playing much music in the near future says and does these things:

  • He says, “Yeah, I’ve gotta practice. I’ve just gotta buckle down and do it.”
  • He tells you all the ways he is deficient: “I can’t really read music.  I don’t have a very good ear.  My hands don’t work the way yours do.”
  • He is interested in orthodoxy, in getting it “right.”
  • He has heard that doing X is crucial to playing well and because he finds it hard, he fears he’ll never “get anywhere.”
  • He is convinced that only big gestures count. You’ve got to really “commit before you can get anywhere.”
  • He talks about “not having time.”
  • He talks about the “big players” and the “important people.”
  • He often has one or more very good and rather expensive instruments he hasn’t touched for quite some time.
  • When you suggest that he could simply tune one of those instruments this week and see where it goes, he dismisses the idea because it won’t help.

The attitude of this person is, “I know what I have to do and I just have to make myself do it.”

The attitude is, “It’s gonna take a lot of work to get anywhere and I’m not even sure I have the basic skills to make it worth it.”

The attitude is, “It’s all too possible to get this wrong and I’d rather not try than risk being wrong.”

The attitude is, “I already know about this.”

The feelings emanating from this person are guilt, fear, defensiveness, jealousy, self-effacement, and competitiveness.

Now, let me tell you about the person who is DEFINITELY going to be playing music over the next six months to a year.

  • He says, “I’ve just fallen in love with the instrument!”
  • He says, “I race home from work to play.”
  • He tells you about how he heard someone play a song and picked it out right afterwards and how proud he felt.
  • He has his instrument in the car or somewhere very accessible.
  • He listens to great players and feels a kindship with them; he’s in this club!
  • He says, “I’ve got lots to learn but I’m just having so much fun.”
  • He says, “My whole day is better when I take a few minutes to play.”
  • He asks, “How did you learn to do X? I want to learn that, too.”
  • His eyes shine when he speaks.

The attitude is open, curious, lively, celebratory, fun.

The attitude is that playing music is natural and easy even while there are skills to hone and useful techniques to learn.

The attitude is, “I’d really love to learn X.  Do you have any advice or resource suggestions for me?”

The emotions emanating from this person are excitement, ease, belonging, ownership, pleasure, pride, and joy.

 

In some ways, you might say the difference between these two people is one is closed and one is open.

Or, you could say that the non-player sees practice as a necessary preamble to playing well, while the player sees practice as a chance to enjoy music and spend fun time with his instrument.

Or, you could say the non-player is afraid of doing it wrong while the player – if he were afraid at all – would be afraid of missing out on the chance to be a musician.

Or, you could say that the non-player is stuck in NO while the player is dancing along with YES.

 

As for me, Kate the Fortune Teller, I’m rooting for everyone.  Truly.  I love living in a world of happy musicians and creators.  I know the power and pride of being what you want to be and what you say you are.  It’s delicious and I believe it’s attainable by all of us if we can find our own way out of the mental traps and toxic attitudes that keep us from doing what we yearn to do.  And I even believe that we can be stuck one year and get unstuck the next.  I’ve walked that road, too.

I’ve changed, though.

I used to spend a lot of time on the non-players, trying with all my heart to infuse them with excitement and confidence, with a sense of how much can happen with very little effort or time, and how much fun and JOY can be gained by allowing music into your life in your own particular way.  I’d pour out love and energy and ideas and help, only to be rebuffed as though I – a life-long practicing musician – knew nothing about what’s really needed to become a musician.

So now that I’m older – not so much.  I try once or twice to offer that encouragement but when I hear all that gobbledygook in response, I bless them and leave them to it.

Because while I might be Kate the Fortune Teller, I’m not Kate the Fortune Maker.

It’s not me that will make this person a musician or keep them sputtering on the sidelines.

That’s in the hands of each person.

Literally!

PS – I’d like to thank my dear friend, Kathleen Callahan, who took this photograph of me playing the whistle a couple weeks ago on Slea Head in County Kerry, Ireland.  Truth be told, I’m not a brilliant whistler – not in the ranks of the truly great.  But I’m proud that this afternoon I played a couple polkas at my gig and raised some people’s spirits and got them tapping their feet.  And I love that when Kathleen took the photograph, I was playing music to bless the place, to offer my gratitude for being there.  I’m proud that I’ve been enjoying the whistle for a quarter century or so, whistling up fun and pleasure for myself and others.  All this is to say:  There’s nowhere to “get,” my friends.  We’re already here.